These are, in my opinion, pretty good reasons to do crazy things. They’re not, however, my reasons.

I choose to fly because I get to feel the freedom of letting go of conventional stability — the plane — and having a very personal, nearly spiritual connection to my world. When I am in the air alone, I owe nothing to anybody but myself, and I owe very little even there. All I have to do is pull, and I have satisfied every obligation.

Today, and I write this reluctantly, I jumped for the last time.

The skies were blue, patched with clouds at 7,000’.

The air was fresh, the wind calm.

The temperature was high, but for Brazil, not too bad.

I jumped from a Caravan at 12,000’, making a smooth exit and a laughing, joyous flight through a cloud in the aforementioned cloud layer.

I pulled.

The chute opened.

And I felt something in my shoulder give.

It wasn’t a complete dislocation, but even now when I put on a T-shirt, I feel it nearly slip out when I slide my arm into the sleeve.

I cannot jump if I cannot comfortably and fearlessly carry out the single most important task in the skydive, and I cannot safely pull anymore.

So, jump #38, at 25 minutes and 15 seconds of freefall, my first jump in a country other than Canada, my first jump from a Caravan, and also my last.

Here’s a bullet-point update on my situation these days:

• I’m biking to work pretty much daily now; it’s about (I’m told) 6km each way, so it’s a bit of exercise I wouldn’t otherwise be getting, and it’s pretty decent exercise. It’s excellent that our workplace has a shower.
• I’m taking class in the morning and working late, which means that anyone that wants to make plans with me has to take into account that I won’t be home until 7:30 or so each weekday. Having said that, I’d love to do evening things with people, so please call any time.
• Work is up & down; I want to work on new things, but old things keep cropping up.
• Char is away this week, and I miss her.
• XBMC is the greatest thing since sliced bread. No AppleTV for me, my new (old) Xbox does everything I would want the aTV to do.
• I’ve read a few books recently, notably “Infidel” by Ayaan Hirsi Ali, which I bought for Char. It’s excellent, and I highly recommend it.
• On Sunday, with the blessings of Lyal and the qualified non-refusal of a shoulder surgeon, I’m going to fly again.

Here’s a capsule summary of the last couple of weeks:

School. Work.

Really, that’s all.

I’ve been trying to exercise a bit more lately, which is probably a good idea. Char’s heavy into the yoga, and she’s had me join her a couple of times, which I have found relatively pleasant, and should probably get into more consistently. I’ve also actually used the gym that comes with our apartment, which is revolutionary in itself, and even more, I’ve actually worked up a sweat by choice. Will wonders never cease?

Uhm…

Well, nothing else.

How are all of you?

I have been informed that despite my dislocation being just my first, I am among the unlucky ones whose dislocation caused a fracture that renders my shoulder extremely unstable from here on out.

200 km/h facewinds and hard openings — or openings of any kind — would appear to be out of scope for the pre-surgery future and, until I talk to a surgeon, potentially post-surgery too.

You can imagine how happy this makes me.

Which does not bode well for my ability to jump.

I’m going to try, anyway. The first few jumps will be scary, because I don’t know if I’ll be able to land it, let alone drive home, so I’ll make sure to have someone there with me, but I believe that the position in which I’d be at risk is one that I can avoid by careful flying.

• Finish the assignment that was due last friday
• Finish the assignment that is due this friday.
• Do some real work on my project so as not to let down my team.
• Catch up on my paid work.

That doesn’t sound like too much fun. On the other hand, I can pull up my pants easier, now

Somewhere in there, however, I really need to find some way to thank Char for the fantastic way she’s helped me out throughout the first week of my slingery, when I really couldn’t do much for myself. Waking up at 7:30 is not something she enjoys, and she did it for me.

Still, the link above was full of good advice, advice that I intend to heed when the time comes (which is not now, in case anyone was panicking! All of our cats are as healthy as ever, if completely insane).

Numb now, but I expect that’ll pass

I want to take this space to wish both Angie and Darryl well.

About 2:30 this morning, my dad had a heart attack.

I’m kind of at a loss on this one. I guess first thing, it’s not as bad as one would think. Which is still pretty fucking bad. He’s okay, but they had to pop open a vein in his heart, put a stent in, and tomorrow they’ll be assessing the damage.

It’s scary, really scary. This is my DAD. He’s not supposed to be, well, vulnerable… But all those IV tubes, all that … vulnerability. It’s really hitting me. Time is ticking onwards, and…

Fuck, i just don’t know. I don’t even know how to feel about this. I think, maybe, I’ll just let this one sit until i know more.

Be well, all.

Thanksgiving is the shit

The visit was nice. Grande Prairie never really gets any better for me, but it sure does get bigger. It’s still full of the same people as always, even though they often have different names and faces, and bigger trucks than before. It’s not really my favourite place. Can you tell?

Since i was only in town for a weekend, i didn’t really get hold of anyone outside the immediate family. So, if any reader is irked that i did not call them, um, well, i was sick (cough) and never really felt well enough to talk at all. And that’s no lie - i was laryngitic for most of the weekend.

Speaking of which… Colds suxor

Right now, though, i’m listening to some really nice neoclassical stuff that Sarah and Donald, the DJs at the club i work at, burned for me to check out. It’s pretty nice. Very easy to listen to, very pleasant.

Hope thanksgiving was good for all of you, too.

…

Oh…

And, (john?!) the pics from the wedding will be up at such time as i have any of them. No scanned pics have made it my way yet, and i don’t have a working scanner anymore. So, to readers w/ wedding pics, get that shit in the mail to me!

The thing is, now that i’m actually taking steps down a path towards a career in computing, i have to do something about it, because the condition is only getting worse as time goes by, not better.

So, at the recommendation of one of the premier tech sites on the net, and at ridiculous personal expense, i purchased a pair of “smart gloves” to see if they could help. The gloves arrived just yesterday, so it’s too early to tell how well they’re gonna work, but here’s hoping i see a difference.

I’d like to be able to use my hands in the future… Ya know, they’re kind of useful

One(1) busted clutch master cylinder. $232 later…

One(1) buggered up foot. It’s been hurting for two weeks. Shitty, that.

One(1) ripped, nice, driving glove.

One(1) ratched knee from moving a treadmill.

Trade anyone?

Other than that, though, life’s been pretty good…